If a divorce is in your future, you may already be prepared to deal with a spouse that is difficult to get along with. It probably won't surprise you to find out that the very behaviors that may have contributed to your desire to divorce will also affect the way your divorce plays out. Even couples that are relatively agreeable with each other are taxed during a divorce, so read on for some tips on dealing with a disagreeable spouse during divorce.
Separation and Divorce Strategies to Keep in Mind
Keep calm and divorce on – It's vital to care for yourself during a stressful divorce. The more peaceful your mental state is, the less likely you are to respond to your spouse's bad behavior in kind. You might be surprised at how your disengagement and calm demeanor can diffuse angry and tense situations.
Keep to the facts – Divorce can bring up emotions that are better left out of issues and disagreeable spouses are experts at pushing your buttons. When you focus on your emotional responses, you take your eye off what is important, like child custody and financial arrangements.
Walk away – If things get too heated, take a break before you allow yourself to be drawn into an argument that goes nowhere. Your spouse may be actively trying to provoke you out of their own feelings of loss. Walking away not only gives you a needed break, but it also can help teach your spouse that you won't respond to such provocation in the future.
Complicating matters – A disagreeable spouse may attempt to create delays and add to the complexity of your case. For example, if your spouse refuses to cooperate with the request for financial disclosure, you may need to get a court order. If this sounds like your spouse, you can ask the court to make your spouse pay for the delays and extra paperwork if you can show that they are being purposefully defiant.
Crossing the line – If your spouse uses verbal abuse or physical abuse against you or your children, take note and report it your attorney or to the judge. Threats and violence do not have to be tolerated, and you may need to take legal action to protect yourself and your children with restraining orders.
Custody considerations – When a spouse is disagreeable, you need to fight back. Keep notes, voicemails, letters, etc. of each time your spouse is abusive as evidence if custody becomes an issue.
Speak to your divorce attorney for more help in dealing with a disagreeable spouse.
